You can always count on crazy.

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 07/19/2020 at 14:56 • Filed to: Covidiots

0

16

Every time I think I’ve encountered peak cra y-cray , someone comes along and tops it. I just had to listen to a ten minute long rambling phone call about how:

1) COVID is happening because we torture innocent animals and the only solution is for everyone to go vegan

2) There was no virgin birth so really it’s the year Trillion instead of 2020 A.D.

3) We can’t call Washington about COVID because they want to kill us [note: that one’s kinda true actually].

Also she threw in a very detailed calamari recipe, despite the fact that we should all be vegan.

All the while this was interspersed with urgent pleas to write this all down and spread the message, so here you go! 

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 15:05

1

Had to listen? Condition of employment? If not y ou’re almost be beholden to tell them to stfu and stop spreading horseshit.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 15:07

1

You are now complicit. You shall now be issued the standard be’stickered Prius complete with faded headlamps.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 15:07

1

Hold my beer, one of my favorite c oworkers and a brilliant graphics installer is a flat Earther and all around conspiracy nut. We think so anyway, he has shown no sign of letting up for years, we used to think he was screwing with us. He grew up in the foster system so who knows what went on that led to this. He has a theory for everything, 5G is involved, giants were real, god is real, aliens this and that.... Flatso, Flat Earth Frank, there are many names for him in the union. But when he and I do graphics together, nobody can touch us. I work with him a lot, he is my personal Coast to Coast AM (Art Bell radio show, now hosted by someone else). I was sure worried about him when all this happened! He still watches all that crap but he is now an environmentalist so at least he is moving in the right direction. I text with him most days. 

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: 07/19/2020 at 15:12

3

It was at work so I had to take the call, but also it was too goddamn hilarious for me to hang up.

66P1800inpieces > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 15:12

1

Match.com?

ranwhenparked > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 15:17

2

I had a customer talk my ear off last week about how COVID was created in a lab, because one virus can’t naturally produce so many different contradictory symptoms and such a wide range of reactions - and that it was released by China to weaken and distract the West so they can do what they want, and funded by Western elites to kill off all the poor people. It was almost like she was reading off notes or rehearsing, just waiting for someone she could unload it all onto.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 16:07

1

1 mink farms seem to be hotspot for covid over here....so maybe her crazy vegan ass is on to something...

i mean...id probably go with stop farming mink....fur is sooooo out of fashion anyhoo...and then have a bacon brekki meself

but on to something

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > ranwhenparked 07/19/2020 at 16:12

3

guessing that customer never had noro virus

its just a mild cold.....till you turn into a poo and puke rocket and self propel across the bathroom in a glorious trail of all kinds of gross

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 16:24

0

2) There was no virgin birth

Something something blind squirrel something acorn, I guess.

Just Jeepin' > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 07/19/2020 at 16:27

1

Between COVID and swine flu, plus the innumerable other ecological  benefits, there’s definitely something to be said for vegetarianism.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Just Jeepin' 07/19/2020 at 16:41

1

tbh...im a big fan of pescatarianism...

i can live without meat.....if i have to...dont want to..but i can

dont take my fishies :(

Just Jeepin' > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 07/19/2020 at 16:56

1

I like shrimp but that’s  about it. You can keep all the fish. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Just Jeepin' 07/19/2020 at 17:09

0

oooo...fair dinkum...when meat goes extinct ill let you have my last bacon

i love almost all fish...cept tuna steaks...too much salty tuna flavour there

Dr_Watson > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 18:01

1

I think I wouldn’t have been able to resist the “Trillion”? Shouldn’t you at least go by 4.6 billion since that’s how old the Sun is? Hell, the universe age isn’t even anywhere near the trillions.

facw > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/19/2020 at 20:06

0

I’ve never even thought about calling my local grocery to harass the employees about dumb stuff...

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 07/19/2020 at 20:17

0

with your career of being high up, one should be able to see how the horizon changes.